If I were God

I’d like to be God for a while.

Yup. Rewind 13.5billion years.

I had just woke up from my nothing and nowhere and created the universe from absolutely that as well. But in my infinite wisdom I’d have the universe without all the other hundreds of billions of galaxies. Just one galaxy cos, hey, what’s the use, right? And in that line of thought I’d have no other planets, just stars for the night and dark matter (for the night too), and blackholes etc. I’d make earth the size of Jupiter, cos you know I know about population explosion and all that. I didn’t make spermatozoa in their millions per ball sac for nothing.

Then on the lonesome planet earth I’ll make sure every human comes in one colour, give ’em one tribe, one tongue. Because hey, I’m God and i know full well about racism and what would happen. I would not go ahead on the diversity plan that a random angle suggests.
And as for Adam and Eve, I’d leave them in peace and love. Cos of course I’ll have seen far into the future all of the evil that would happen because they had to leave the garden. So they’ll have Happy babies everywhere.
I wouldn’t bother with guys constructing the Tower of Babel. There’s no way they could get as high as the stratosphere let alone my heaven.

I won’t bother with making freewill. I’d, like a good God, step in every now and then to help put things in place. You know, it’s what fathers do.

I wouldn’t bother with the tree of good and evil for I know it’d only bring about evil.

If i were God I wouldn’t think casting the devil down to earth would be a good idea. Especially as I made the universe so large. Plus I made blackholes.

Of movies and forests

When I first saw Lord of the Rings I thought “ooh, beautiful forests”. The mosses and ferns on tree branches, stems and logs. Fresh fungus on rocks and what not. Saw those on Legend of Seeker too. I always got that feeling of awe. The feeling that the world still had ‘untouched’ areas so life was still good. Untouched but for the cast and crew of movies that bring these places to the big screen. Shot on location in these natural habitats it’s impossible not to trample on something tranquil.

Is anybody talking about those?
I’m fully aware that some productions are usually done in front of green-screen and CGI is often used, but this doesn’t shield that particular ecosystem from human encroachment  especially with the volume of series being shot ever so frequently. Many being epics and will need ancient looking forests for a perfect shot.

We shouldn’t for the sake of entertainment ignore the effects of this development.

Cap’n America, which Lagos?

The movie is probably already old but hey, that’s when I get to see my movies, when everyone else already saw it and moved on. I heard there was a scene that was shot in Lagos, Nigeria. I doubt if I would’ve seen the movie otherwise. I found a bootlegged copy lying around and decided now is the time. I’m sacrificing my SonyMax time for this. Better be worth it. After the first few seconds of the Lagos scene I am now asking myself “which Lagos o?”. Except for the popular yellow vehicles used as commercial transportation there were no other similarities, or very little else that came close.

I’ll just watch some more and get back to you.

OK wait, the depiction of Lagos’ chaotic traffic is all wrong. The traffic in Lagos is indeed chaotic but in a more organized kinda way. A foreigner wouldn’t understand.

Let me watch this part…

Now I’m thinking wouldn’t it have been a lot cheaper and waaay more realistic to just have shot the part in Nigeria knowing full well that most Nigerians all over the globe would give an arm to see it?
The people didn’t even speak any naija language that I could understand in a typical Lagos setting. Oh, and get this, Nigerians don’t stand around when somebody lands from the sky, they waka, take off, dissappear, vamoos, Ben Johnson, run! Nobody stands around for anything, except a lynching. Anyone who’s somehow still on the scene would be on the ground, praying or screaming Jesus!
I like the Lagos state emblem on stands in front of that disease control building, cool concept. I doubt that we have that. If we don’t, we should.

OK finished.

But throughout the scene there was not one agbero, how’s that possible?! Forget the ever present and noisy bus conductors that were absent despite the many buses, an agbero, or a dozen agberos, would have continually harassed the super heros until they gave up some shandi (loose change…not too loose though, better be heavy).
Wait, that’s probably why the scene wasn’t shot in Lagos in the first place. I guess shooting it in Lagos-Atlanta, USA was wiser.

Wake up, woman!

What happens when your waist is 44, your hips 54, and you’re 34 and the man ceases to go the extra mile for you?
There’s this song by P-Square and Flavour that i decided to take a listen to. And the chorus was simply about how the man would do anything for the woman cos her waste is 34, hips 44, and she’s 24 years old.
Sad, really.

It’s songs like these that continually reduces the self esteem of women. Women that already see themselves as second to the man – put on earth to do his bidding.
I’d like to see strong women in appreciable numbers. Women who actually understand what being a woman is all about. Not the women who’s Idea of a life achievement is to get married, have kids, and then make sure that the photos of your husband and kids with you on the side is constantly uploaded on social media.

These days all i ever see are women who are just waiting to get married.

Bamwase!

So i was contacted by a couple of guys with big dreams and I’d gladly introduce them to you. Aren’t we the waters that  dreams need to grow?

Are you looking for a job? Do you need more customers to grow your business? Do you have some unique skills or service to render but don’t know how to get customers? Have you ever wanted  a particular service done or  needed a particular product but don’t know where to get it or who can do it  around that area? The answer to that problem is www.bamwase.com
bamwase is an online directory and a social platform that links job seekeers to employers and businesses to their customers,
There are three categories of users on bamwase we have:

1. Job seeker
2. Business owner
3. Client

Job seeker is anyone looking for a job either it be part time,full time or freelance. Job seekers get to input necessary information into our database where employers and recruiters can search through and see candidates that fits their specification. As a job seeker you have the advantages of receiving daily alerts on jobs that fit your specifications, doing freelance and part time jobs subsequent to when you have a full time employment, network with employers and getting career advice from professionals.

Business owners this is anyone who is operating a business in Nigeria. As a business owner you get to input  the product/service you render,your specialization and industry.when a customers needs such products or services in that area he would see such business in our database and contact the owner thereby Bamwase helps you expand your market to reach new customers you originally would not have had access to. Customers can also post project for businesses to apply and they award the contracts to the best business. Advantages of registering as a business with Bamwase includes daily feeds on contracts that fit your specification, win contracts from individuals, companies and government agencies, get the right employees for your business, network with other business owners, customers and investors, meet future business partners, pitch your ideas to investors, ask questions and discuss problems with industry professionals

A client can be an individual, company or agency that either need employees or want to carry out a project and need the manpower or product a business can provide. As a client you have the option to either post a job or post a project together with the amount you are willing to pay for such services. After posting you would receive applications or proposals from both job seekers and business owners then you can choose the best candidate to give the job or award the contract, another option is searching through  our database for the best job seeker/business .

www.bamwase.com is set to be  launched early next year, but right now we are building our database, registering on Bamwase is free from now to December 31st 2015, search results would be by earliest registration. Hurry now invite your friends and family to join the Bamwase family,t ell that friend or family member that is always asking you for money to register on Bamwase, tell that young boy/girl that is struggling to pay her school fees that he can do freelance on Bamwase, or that Runns girl you know that her excuse is there is no one to train her, with Bamwase unemployment is no longer an excuse you are broke only because you choose to be.

Bamwase: bringing opportunities to your doorstep

Let us help encourage these young guys by sharing this information on your different social media platforms.

click here http://bamwase.com/discutionsPost.php?post_Id=565239d3cca59

Can’t we all just get along?

I have been observing, silently, the many atheists, humanist, agnostics etc. who seem to derive pleasure in bashing religious folks day in and out. I think this in itself is an act that is in contrast with their social/religious standing. You complain about how religious people are intolerant and then you can’t tolerate them. Aren’t you almost an atheist terrorist? I will not deny that the urge to take a swipe (or two hundred) at people who have a belief system that you can best describe as stupid odd is great, but how about acting in such a way as to make these lot see that one can be good without being religious? Show them how good you are. Quit being an ass (donkey) all the time. Show some respect. If you became an atheist on your own then allow others the same free will. I bet if you were constantly insulted you probably wouldn’t have turned. Remember why you hated that ‘wicked’ teacher back in school? Not cos they didn’t know the subject but cos (s)he probably hurled insults and flogged a lot. And nine out of ten, you hated the subject because you hated the teacher. You’re being that teacher now. When you see errors be a good sport and point them out and let them try to defend it. Don’t be a spot of grease on their garment. You could crack a couple of jokes, Let everyone laugh it off and live. You could even yab, yabbing is not a crime, brothers yab each other. But be civil. I don’t mean the Charlie Hebdo type of civil either. Don’t call any stupid person stupid, Let them figure it out.

I can’t be friends with anyone with violent tendencies. It never feels right.

In the famous words of can’t recall his name, “can’t we all just get along?” The world is big enough for all of us and there are too many idiots already.

And if you are one of those who became atheist just because you thought it a cool thing to do then you had better go back to being what you really are. Atheism isn’t fad.

God did it?

Let’s assume you’re riding a bike, I mean a motorcycle. I should have then just said you should assume you’re riding a motorcycle, why did I have to say bike? Why do I have this problem of….
Where was i? Oh, yea, you’re riding a motorcycle, on a highway, several other vehicles plying the same route. You’re wearing glasses, no helmet. Now a tiny piece of rock flies and crashes on your glasses. It fragments or bounces off. What will a random person say?
“Lucky me, God was watching over me. I could have been rendered blind in that eye then but God’s mercy kept me.”

Let’s assume again, the same scenario,this time, you have a helmet on. The rock crashes into your glasses and there is a crack in it. A tiny piece of glass flies right into your eye. You fall off your motorcycle but thank goodness you had your helmet on, no cracked skull. What would a random person say?

Over joyous bike rider

Just got off a motorbike who’s rider’s in a state of joy. See, he told me he’s been married since 2012 with no child ever since a sad operation mishap, but a few minutes ago he was informed of a new baby. I’m indeed happy for him, its the joy of every husband to have a child but I swear I will slap his helmet off if he gets us in an accident. This guy is in tears and on the road! Blurry visioned and all. I’m not prepared to die cos someone just got born o.
So we arrive at my destination and I can see the tear marks on his face as he thanks me for listening to him. Poor fellow. He will be home now cuddling his new firstborn, if he doesn’t get himself killed with joy.

Of Unusually calm seas

The two times in recent recorded history when the oceans decided to act abnormally was in 1903 And 1940.

In 1903, The Titanic. The ship struck an iceberg and Titanic got several Oscars for all the drama. But that night it happened because the sea was unexpectedly calm.
It was in the month of April in the North Atlantic when this extremely rare condition took place. You know that most ships lost at sea are usually the victims of huge waves caused by hurricanes or storms. But guess what, it was a lack of waves that contributed to the Titanic hitting the iceberg. Yup, there was no wind, and thus there were no waves. It was as flat as my… It was also a dark moonless night, and this made it difficult to see any iceberg in the distance. Even small waves would have caused a bright phosphorescent line around the base of the iceberg, due to the millions of Dino flagellates that migrate to the ocean surface at night. These tiny plankton are known to glow brightly even with the slightest disturbance. (Sailors had seen this phosphorescence many times as they rowed through such waters, every stroke causing a glow that clearly outlined each oar.) On that night though, there was not even a gentle swell that could have caused a phosphorescent line around the iceberg.
Weird.
So while Jack was busy in the car…

The year 1940, in France, the sea was so flat that little boats could move unto the beach to pick up trapped soldiers waiting for death in the hands of German guns. Ordinarily, the British channel is one of the roughest places in the world–no place for a small boat– but the wind suddenly died and the seas subsided. One account read, “the sea, as if obedient to suggestion, lay down flat”.

So what was it, that caused these two occurrences, Poseidon? Then who or what? Cos the sea definitely knew something was up those two times. One for good and one for bad. Was somebody having fun?

The dirty beings

Everyone is talking about the satellite that ran out of fuel. They are talking about the size of the crater it formed. There are some talking about how fast the satellite was going before crashing crashing on the surface of Mars. But guess what, no one is talking about the mess that earthlings just made, they turned it into a trash barge up there. I bet the aliens on mercury would be really pissed. This will probably mean an invasion. These guys will fill our skies with memberships and levitating motorcycle things. Throwing flames, lasers and freaky nanotechnological something’s on us. We’re doomed!
Ok, That was abit too far.
But hey, we can’t just help ourselves can we? We just had to haul trash some ten million miles into another man’s (alien’s) land in the name of exploration. How about if they haul it back?