One sweet ride for God’s son

So I heard that the General Overseer of Christ Royal Church, Bishop Tom Samson, (i never heard of him before now) just acquired a customized stretch Hummer worth some N80million.

Well, Jesus too went with his many disciples to Galilee in one Accord so…it probably was a stretch Honda.

This automobile has double jet doors, double axe, 6 wheeler, 3 plasma TV (to preview his crusades from the directors point of view, i guess), Smart torch control system, 42 inches TV in VIP compartment, Yes, VIP section within a VIP ride, how thoughtful. Three stereo systems, iPod ready stereo, CD/mp3 player, DVD player. You know that Kenneth Higin, Cece Winans and Don Moet…i mean Moen, (this situation has got me talking luxury) sound better when you play from three stereo systems. A specially lighted mirror ceiling, specially lighted floor, laser window. It would probably look like this.


Wait, what does he need specially lit surfaces for, isn’t that stuff of celebrities? And four bar compartments for someone who shouldn’t even be talking about a bar? Twenty eight passenger, leather seats, for his ministers and elders. Four bars will serve them fine. They’ll be drinking Holy Communion wine, right? so no problem. The limo is thirty-eight feet long.


About that long.
HXP box available, power divider that separates driver section for when important church business is to be held in transit under Holy Communion wine, or for when the ladies climb aboard. That’s when the Sub woofer, fiber optic light, strobe lights come into play. Strobe lights in a pastor’s car??
And just incase he’s not sure of God’s protection, its safety features include Air-bag passenger, air-bag driver, air-bag sides and top of the line royalty edition. Royalty edition! But of course, if Jesus is the coming King, and this man is a child of the most high, then yea, he is royalty. My bad.
And the pastor confirmed it. “Yes it’s true. I actually ordered for it to be specifically built for me by Top Limo NY. It’s a rare brand of stretch limousine that can’t be found in Nigeria. I bought to celebrate the goodness of God and for our forthcoming anniversary. It’s quite expensive and soon you would see it and show it to the world.” he said.
He said that with so much pride.
Unbe$&@¿¡*lievable!

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2 thoughts on “One sweet ride for God’s son

  1. Do not touch my anointing and do my prophet no harm… only God can judge them. .anyway that’s none of my business *sips holy wine*

    Like

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