Hilarious Bible Questions and Answers

Checkout these hilarious bible questions and answers I got from my old blog from 2011. I’m not sure where I stole the piece from but I bumped into it this morning and thought to repost it here. I would’ve loved to give credit to the originator of this masterpiece but, I just don’t know where I got it from.

Anyways, enjoy!

Biblical Questions and Answers
Q. Who was the greatest
financieer in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock
while everyone else was in
liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female
financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went
down to the bank of the Nile and
drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz
before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles
are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve
out of the Garden in a Fury.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles
are in the Bible?
A. David’s Triumph was heard
throughout the land.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles
are in the Bible?
A. Honda…because the apostles
were all in one Accord.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles
are in the Bible?
A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out
in service in a Volkswagen
Beetle: “We are pressed in every
way, but not cramped beyond
movement.”
Q. Who was the greatest
comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house
down.
Q. Where is the first baseball
game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning, Eve stole
first, Adam stole second. Cain
struck out Abel, and the Prodigal
Son came home. The Giants and
the Angels were rained out.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel
when expelled from the Garden
of Eden?
A. They were really put out.
Q. What is one of the first things
that Adam and Eve did after they
were kicked out?
A. They really raised Cain.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to
his children as to why he no
longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of
house and home.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter
mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to
sleep.
Q. Why was Goliath so surprised
when David hit him with a
slingshot?
A. The thought had never
entered his head before.
Q. What do they call pastors in
Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. What is the best way to get to
Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.
Q. Which servant of Jehovah was
the most flagrant lawbreaker in
the Bible?
A. Moses. Because he broke all 10
commandments; at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was
especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan.
The banks were always
overflowing.
Q. How do we know that Job
went to a chiropractor?
A. Because in Job 16:12 we read,
“I had come to be at ease, but he
proceeded to shake me up and
he grabbed me by the back of
the neck and proceeded to
smash me.”
Q. Where is the first tennis match
mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in
Pharaoh’s court.

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