When I go to a typical Nigerian bank I meet different types of people:
The people who never get in because the bank-door rejects them no matter what they take off; wristwatches, earrings, belts etc.
The Pen Borrowers. You know this lot, you’re probably one of them. I know i am. These lot always walk in the bank hall without a pen. We just forget to carry a pen and then we remember we don’t have a pen the minute we get passed the door. Then we scout the hall for whose pen we can borrow. We never return these pens for some reasons: we forget the face, we lend the borrowed pen to somebody else whose face we don’t take a mental note of or who we didn’t realize never had the intention to return the said pen.
The slip wasters These ones are responsible for keeping the bank hall cleaners busy. They either can’t write, or never make up their mind on what amount they intend to withdraw/deposit.
Just as you’re wondering why the fellow is causing so much problem for the Ozone layer by wasting so much paper. The “What is today’s date?” people come and ask you, two times in a row, “what is today’s date?”. And if you pay attention you will hear them ask somebody else, twice in a row.
The ‘are you the last person?’ people I happen to fall here too. These lot look for the last person on the queue, tap them on the shoulders and say, usually very nicely, “are you the last person? I’m behind you”.
Then there’s the people that piss everyone else off, even those who act like they aren’t pissed off.
This set of folks are the ‘i sabi person for the bank’ people These folks waltz in and go straight to the counter to Bolaji or Thomas or Karen, whoever is their friend or family stationed there for their service. They come and go and everybody is still standing on the queue.
Everybody except me cos I just realized I don’t have any cash in my account and I gotta bounce outs here like I forgot something.