The deliverance that Wasn’t

There I was, kneeling at the alter. No, I didn’t slip, I was there, in that position, because the woman preacher asked that all who wanted to be delivered from spirit forces come forward and assume the position.
As I knelt before her I couldn’t help but try to decipher her words, she was speaking in tongues, you see. Shiritoribababa and the rest of them. Now, i do feel sometimes that i have a multitude of demons that drive me to say and do the things that i find myself doing. How else can i explain my degree of weirdness? I am so weird, at times the devil be like dang. Hence, the need to be ‘set free’.

Anyway the tongues session tarried for a long time till it was clear I was the only demon-possessed fellow in the church. Even the lady in the short gown that shows her back, same back I’ve been drawn to all day because of a prominent mole hanging there seems not to have any demon in her. It is well.

Finally, the preacher was ready for me — or my demons. After a lengthy prayer mixed with some Shiritoribababa I was asked to stand on my feet for I am now free. Free from all spiritual oppression and manipulation. But i didn’t feel free. I didn’t feel any different from before. In fact, I was more interested in wiping the dust off my knees. Yeah, the entire church was screaming Hallelujah, but me, my dusty knees mattered more. I didn’t appreciate the shape my shoes had taken either. Why didn’t I just stand like in other deliverance cases? Maybe that way I could be induced to fall into the waiting arms of ushers behind, to the excitement of the congregation. A squeezed clothing is better than a squeezed shoe.

So, i get to go back home with my legion of demons again. I bet most were airborne, not enough space in the car.

That was deliverance number, I don’t know, 200?

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2 thoughts on “The deliverance that Wasn’t

  1. Hahahahahaaaaa! What can I say? I love you! I love everything you write; and this was a masterpiece.
    My high points, “…me, I was more interested in wiping the dust off my knees…but me, my dusty knees mattered more. I didn’t appreciate the shape my shoes had taken either.”
    My absolute best line,
    “That was deliverance number, I don’t know, 200?”

    Please keep writing.

    Like

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