Made in Nigeria SUVs from where? …there?

So, as i went through today’s news while sipping on some leftover malt drinks from yesterday, my birthday, i … yeah, it was my birthday yesterday and i had a lot of fun. There was the food and the drinks. I opened so many canned Malt drinks that i almost looked like a brand ambassador slash official taster of the product. Family and friends were there to make it worthwhile too. It felt good to know one is loved. Even folks who wish i’d get run over by a truck still wished me a “Happy birthday”. It was ironic and i loved it!

Anyway, i came across all these headlines saying nigerian-made cars will be out in the market by April. And i’m like, “from where will these vehicles be built?”. That was before i read the story from one of the online news sites. After i had read it came a new question, “from there?”

This was what caught my eye: “Chief Executive Officer of Nissan Motors Carlos Ghosn says his company plans to roll out the first made-in-Nigeria 4 X 4 Utility SUV in April this year using the old Volkswagen Assembly plant owned by its partners.”

You don’t see any problem with that? Well get this, the statement didn’t use the terms “refurbished” or “newly constructed” assembly plant. it said OLD VOLKSWAGEN ASSEMBLY PLANT. Can new wine come out of an old wineskin? How the heck do new SUVs roll out of an old Volkswagen assembly plant?? We’re not watching Sorcerer’s Apprentice here. Or did they just forget to tell us its now an ultra modern plant?

Another statement went thus:
“We are interested in producing popular cars , totally adapted to the needs of Nigerians…”.
Lol, for real? By this does he mean, inferior quality type vehicles that nigerians wouldn’t mind owning if the price is right?

And then…
“..the company also plans to bring its global suppliers to make vehicle components in the country” He added.

Psheww, Please! that statement seems abit far fetched, so far fetched that i think i smell a huge ghetto rat. What company will want to come into naija to make their highly complex car components in a country where basic infrastructure is lacking? Any sane organisation in that line of business would prefer to remain suppliers from wherever they are than come into a country where other companies have moved out of.

Nigerian made SUVs. Prepare for a time when cars without engines will come out as finished products or four wheel drives with three tyres. Heck the gears might work the wrong way. You might have to steer left to turn right. Forget trafficators. The security system will be so inefficient, you’d have to secure your car Mr Bean-style.

And to all these, the factory workers will be like “na so we see am o…na so d tin be”.

Just kidding.

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