‘China Phones’

I remember when ‘china phones’ first entered the Nigerian market, gigantic gadgets like that. They looked sort of like advanced technology for Intergalactic Nebular reflectors. Their screens were so wide, looking like they could scan your face. There were so heavy they could give one bicepts. They mostly came with the TV feature and people bought them just for that. They all had dual SIM, in some cases three!

Now there are much smaller and acceptable. Some have just one SIM, small screens, a few have TV. China phones are becoming ever popular. Do you want one? No? Why? Let me tell you, those phones are actually worth having. Wait na, before you start to attack me, think about it. Those phones are better than the palasa, torchlight, tona sobe phones that you use as a side phone or second phone. Those phones have features that your side phone does not.

The ‘china phones’ I’l be referring to are of the earlier models. So most of my comments will be on those.

Everyone knows that ‘china phones’ are loud. With a ‘china phone’ you could start a small party, all you need do is place the blaring handset in a metal basin to filter and amplify the sound. Really good for picnics and the likes.

Let me sight an instance, we’re both in traffic and a must watch game is on TV. I have my ‘china phone’ tv enabled. You, well, you’re ‘pressing’ your other phone to get information on the same game. Who then has the real fun? My guy, I’m watching it and you’re tweeting for it.

Here’s another instance, we’re at your house, watching our favourite soap. Then, out of the goodness of their hollow hearts, PHCN decides to ‘take’ the light at a time when money no dey for fuel. One of us quickly produces a ‘china phone’ tunes to the station, and the show continues. Won’t you join in viewing?


Maybe the antenna is a problem sha, I can’t be walking and looking like I have a 60s walkie talkie in hand.

And when the phone suddenly rings, kai, the way i and people around jump is not good for my rep. One has to look for that ascending ring feature.

‘China phone’ batteries are embarrassingly big. They look like they can power an okada.

I still haven’t seen a ‘china phone’ with bluetooth that actually worked. Maybe I didn’t look round well enough.

Why don’t you give it a thought before you totally condemn the phone? The Mobile TV and Dual SIM idea is such a good idea that other phone companies are now using scope to adopt it into their phone’s features.

Fast forward to present day.
There’s this ‘china fone’ that’s making tongues wag. From the tv and billboard ads you’d see that the makers are hell bent on showing that their latest products can match, and in some cases, beat other brand name phones. But i think it rather obvious, the phone is baaad. They do thesame things the other well known phones do, they run on the same platforms. And, what’s probably the coolest is that the phones are much cheaper! So, naturally, one would expect that the market would flock towards it right? well, we’re quite a different people, you see, over here, few big boys and big girls want to be associated with a ‘china phone’ even if it clearly beats what they currently have.


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