My Alma “Matter”

i remember the ambience, the anthem, the assembly. Neatly dressed chics to one side & lewding guys on the other. Its the only school I know till date that has its assembly line of students arranged unconventionally. I remember bald, pot-bellied principal Dr Owu. Loved to watch him trash offenders e.g Elvis, Chuks etc. I remember my MJ trousers, Usher, they used to call me!
My crushes & my affairs…Patrick the headboy!.. i remember girlfriend switchin’.. when Nosa was a loud mouth, and Kanmi was a story teller.. seeing Samuel stealing glances at girls ..silent Richard and never-gave-a-f**k Isaac . How the guys yabbed Chibogwu…I remember echoes of ‘CAIN TOES & ALWAYS’, ‘BOWMAN’s CAPSULE’ & ‘GLUMERULUS’.. ‘OOZEZI & BOOZALA’, I remember the rush for the school bell.. Augustine’s wierd handwriting… Bose!, Iseoluwa’s intimidating height…Martins and Oluchi.. and Sosimi! That young man had the ballz of brass to bitchslap Ms Ibe.
And how would i forget we the ‘devil beans’ crew. Took our time to fetch the darn thing and placed it on a random seat which turned out to be Chinenye’s. Girl needed palm oil to get better..eeyah..movin on.
When Mr Eze came over & screamed “Oshagbami!!! cari ya bag!”…. I remember the music video we made at Nwankpa’s house with a webcam after Mr Eze sent us out. That time when Chimaobi preferred to make fun of anyone smaller than he was. Oyinye! Cute gal.. Tade! Lovely smile..Akudo! Where’s she??..Rita!..Seun Ayayi!!!.. Paulinus the genius and Calistus the.. well.. Kome!… Time when we refered to Toyin Osula as ‘LACTOSE’ and Joy was called “Nse baz”. The hole in girls toilet wall. don’t ask me how i knew about that… when Temitayo was timid & Oluwole was called ‘Large white’. I remember him falling into the pond at the back of the lab. Adedamola! I used to be glad he was one fellow I was taller than… when some ‘beefed’ Chinenye for having all the A’s…I remember silly games in the junior block, in the Lab & in the classrooms upstairs both after school and on weekends…the skeleton in d Biology Lab that we all loved to give funny poses…Ovan’s over-shakara… The Love Letter express… Oscar’s overwhelming feminine side. Chinonye, Momotimi!
Nsisong & his elastic skin…Nwampa’s ‘Serenmo, seren mayo’, he used to sing Tuface and Tetuila’s “omode meta n sere” with an igbo accent and it was nothing short of hillarious!.
And yes, Ekaete!. I recall one V.P’s grammatical prowess & the other’s grammatical errors…The Clerk….Mr Tayo’s famous “when the sun sines” and “Biatreese, where’s your beero?”.. Goldspot & meatpie or a plate of rice at breaktime….Food & Nutrition class that the boys always waited for. Mr Itam…Mr Atunde….Mr Lucky….Mr Abilo….Aunty Sayo…Mr Akombede… The fragile looking Messenger we all used to bully. I had the oppurtunity of bullying him too and it was indeed an ego-booster.
LABOUR DAY for some of us it was A.K.A Cutting the grass outside the school Day. Then there was Karashi, right after school.

in KING’s HIGH SCHOOL, Awomolo Estate, Satellite Town. i had some of the best days of my life.


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